What’s trending lately? In our ever growing online universe there is always something going on… Like a mid atlantic flight, the dating world can be filled with bumpy turbulence and at times shaky touchdowns on the runway; there is always something new going on and new terms to use.
So, I’d like to remind you of some past trending terms and phrases but also introduce you to a couple of new trending terms, with the hopes that these terms help you navigate a safe take off and smooth landing in the dating world.
Over the years there have been different words that have started a trend; especially in the world of dating.
A few years ago we were all introduced to the term “catfish” thanks to the documentary of the same name. Gaining widespread popularity “Catfishing” according to Urban Dictionary is: “the phenomenon of internet predators that fabricate online identities and entire social circles to trick people into emotional/romantic relationships (over a long period of time).” This term grew like wildfire…I heard it used everywhere.
Example: “Ughhh …Guys I’m going on a blind date and I’m so scared I’m going to be catfished.”
“Hey does my profile picture really look like me? Should I upload a more recent picture? My biggest fear is being scene as a catfish.”
That term has come and gone; only to be used occasionally.
“Ghosting”: The act of completely disappearing into oblivion and ceasing all communications with someone you were dating casually. The ghost gives no indication or reason of leaving but simply vanishes without a trace, leaving the ghosted hurt, confused and in utter astonishment.
Example:“So I’ve been dating this girl for a couple of months, and we went to dinner a few weeks ago. I been texting her but now she’s completely ghosting me. No response.”
I’m going to keep this short and simple. Ghosting sucks. Word to the wise if you are ghosting, you are incredibly juvenile and whoever you’re ghosting should be lucky you’ve let them go; you’re obviously not mature enough to handle an adult conversation and tell this person why you aren’t into them and send them on their way. If you are or have been ghosted, learn from it and move on. This person who has ghosted you taught you a valuable lesson; sure it will hurt at first, but you’ll be much better off in the end. There are plenty of other fish in the sea; so you got a bottom feeder?…cast your net and try again. I promise there is someone willing to respect and value your time.
I’ve had friends talk to me about being ghosted and all I can say is that it hurts to hear about and I’m sure its even worse to go through but I’ve come up with a few new terms that don’t only hurt, they’re just down right annoying.
Meet ghosting first cousin: “Caging.” Caging is like ghosting, but adds a bit of a twist. The person doing the caging has similar qualities to a ghoster. The cager gives no indication or reason for leaving a relationship and fails to respond to text messages, phone calls, emails, etc…BUT here’s the twist; they continue to watch and communicate inadvertently through different forms of social media. They watch from afar the person they’ve decided to excommunicate.
Cagers view Snapchats, retweet, and like Instagram posts or Facebook statuses. They cage this person like an animal in a zoo, watching them from a distance but never getting close enough to actually communicate. It’s not only disrespectful but it’s incredibly annoying to the person being caged.
Example: “He’s caging me. He completely stop talking to me and wont answer my text messages but he likes all of my Facebook statuses.”
««Honesty Hour: I was casually dating this guy, lets call him *Joe Schmo, and things were going great. On a horrific night for both Ronda Rousey and myself things crumbled and took a turn for the worse. After apologizing for any wrong doing, I was greeted with a cold non-responsive ghost. I quickly got back on my feet and and was reminded by my trusty and loyal friends of why this guy was truly not worthy of my time. All was fine and dandy and I actually completely forgot about the poor chump until one day I saw he was viewing all of my snaps- and at times viewing them seconds after they had been posted! He then started liking my Instagram pictures. But what was worse is that he began personally snapchatting my friends. Now looking back I can laugh at the whole situation and can only say that it validated what Ronda has said all along “relationships that are easily ruined were never worth much. […] a relationship worth anything will endure the process.” (My Fight/ Your Fight 157,158) *Name was changed for reasons of privacy»»
To those being caged, try not to let it annoy you too much. If it really bugs you, remember you have the power to allow a cager to view your online world. Delete them if it’s really bothering you. But my advise, don’t give them any more of your precious energy and time. In fact wear it as a badge. The person caging you is either infatuated or intrigued by you and could quite possibly still like you. At the end of the day they’re the ones that look like creepy immature stalkers.
Meet ghostings second cousin twice removed: “Earharting.” To understand this term you might need a little back up history. Amelia Earhart was the first female aviator to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean and set many aviation records. In 1937, attempting to make a flight around the globe, Earhart went missing and is thought to have disappeared over the central Pacific ocean near Howland Islands.
Earharting is a term that is used when the person you are dating sporadically goes missing. They text you and call you normally but every once in awhile will drop off in the middle of a conversation and disappear. These people are known as Amelia’s or Earharter’s. They don’t necessarily go missing on purpose, but it can be quiet annoying to the person on the other side of the conversation.
Example: “We were talking and she suddenly stopped responding to my text messages in the middle of our conversation. She finally text me back 4 hours later without any explanation. I was totally Earharted.”
“Yeah sounds like she was pulling an Amelia.”
I understand everyone is busy, but there needs to be a certain amout of common courtesy when conversing. If “waiting hours before I text back”is the game you like to play to add to the chase remember this; games are for children, not responding for long periods of time can get old quickly. Earharting isn’t the worse thing a person can do but can become a nuisance if it becomes a frequent habit. Note to the Earharts of the world: Only text or talk when you are available to respond back in a timely manner. Ignoring or blatantly not texting back shows a lack of propriety and disreguard for the feelings of others. If you do find yourself earharting and it is unconsciously done, apologize, move on and try to not be an Amelia in the future.
I hope you have found these terms helpful and now know how to use them in the dating world. To those dating, I wish you the very best of luck, and hope you now know how to spot a catfish, ghost, cager or earhart.
Questions about these terms feel free to comment or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
PS: My lovely PC hope this is a reminder to not allow anyone to cage or earhart you, not even a Disney prince, you’re too rad—and remember we aren’t DNB’s. No way!