Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

Anyone who truly knows me, knows I have a thing for quotes. It could possibly be considered an obsession. A good song lyric can be a quote I hold on to, a simple yet poignant idea heard from a stranger or line from a movie or book can draw the biggest breath of air from my lungs. I’ll write quotes on margins of books or magazines and when I get really desperate (and my Iphone battery has died) I’ve been known to steal pens and napkins or toilet paper just so I don’t loose the quote. Words are huge with me, so when I hear a group of them formed into a wonderful quote I have to have it documented and stored in my vault.

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I started my blog exactly one year ago today, and I’ve acquired so much. The only way I can truly express what I’ve come to find within the year is by writing about it with quotes that I’ve saved. These quotes pinpoint who I am, how I feel and what I have come to find. So here it goes…

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In 2015 I’ve come to terms that I really, really, like to write. It’s very therapeutic and as Ernest Hemingway said “my aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way.” I plan on continuing writing for this blog, but also for myself. I love writing short stories and vow to take time in 2016 to continue to write stories on my vintage sea foam green typewriter I’ve named Steinbeck. (If you don’t know how I came up with the name my only advice to you is…read a book.)

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I’ve found that if “I don’t write to empty my mind, I go mad.” [Lord Byron]

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I have grown immensely this year learning about the different people that surround me each and everyday. But mostly I’ve learned about myself, and “like wildflowers; you must allow yourself to grow in all the places people thought you never would.” [E.V.]

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I’ve learned about the law of attraction and successfully put it to use, as funny lady Amy Poehler said, “you attract the right things when you have a sense of who you are.” I was told continuously this year that I’ve always had “that look of otherness, of eyes that see things much too far, and of thoughts that wander off the edge of the world.” [Joanne Harris] and have come to realize that my heart swings back and forth between the need for routine and the urge to run.” [Unknown]

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Thank you to the people who have allowed me to whisper and at times shout my dreams into their ears; always willing to listen to every detail I divulge. To all of you who have stood by my side and have help me grow, even if infinitesimally, thank you for opening my eyes when I’ve wanted to walk blindly onto roads that I didn’t see were that scary. As R.M. Drake wrote; “she could not make sense of the things that were meant for her, but she was drawn to it all, and when she was alone, she felt like the moon; terrified of the sky, but completely in love with the way it held the stars.”

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“I’m very picky with whom I give my energy to. I prefer to reserve my time, intensity and spirit exclusively to those who reflect sincerity” [Dau Voire]—to all those who I’ve spent time with in 2015, thank you. Thank you for simply letting me be me and sharing wonderful experiences and creating lasting memories I’ll cherish forever.

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I’ve learned that “I’m a simple person with a complicated mind”[Anonymous] and sometimes it just easiest to let go because “overthinking kills your happiness.” [Unknown]

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Like everyone in this world, I’m human; imperfect. I’d be lying if I said 2015 has been a year of daisies, cupcakes and rainbows. My road, like so many others, has had some dips and windy curves but they have all become lessons that I will never regret. I can proudly say that in 2015 whatever I’ve done I’ve given it my all and tried my best. As my ultimate heroine of 2015 Ronda Rousey said; “you have to be willing to get your heart broken. That’s just what fucking happens when you try.”12.30.15_019

Looking back there are so many things I wanted to happen that didn’t and vice versa- things that happened that I didn’t want or expect. I’m quite glad things played out the way they did because now I “consider that maybe God closed that door because he knew [I was] worth so much more.” [Unknown]

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So as 2015 comes to an end all I can confess is that it’s been a WILD ride; and as 2016 quickly approaches I can honestly say that it will be year unlike any other, and I can’t wait to see where it takes me. So many firsts, so many opportunities; I hope I take each given to me.

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An open road awaits me…cant wait to see what landmarks I hit, hidden treasures I stumble upon, U-turns I face and exits I’ll take. My wild ride continues and my car is loaded with fuel that will last until I reach 2017. “A lot can happen in a year!” [Anonymous]

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As a writer I’ve learned this year that “ some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity…” [Gilda Radner]

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 So long 2015! … 2016 I’ve buckled my seatbelt and am ready! Take me where you may. I’ll follow, but I’ll tell you now ahead of time, it’s not in my nature to always obey. 😉

 -xo ash

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Places I’ll Remember

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There are places I remember
all my life, though some have changed.
Some forever, not for better.
And some have gone, and some remain.

All these places have their moments
with lovers and friends I still can’t recall.
Some are dead and some are living.
In my life I love them all. [The Beatles]

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You know that experience when you leave a place and “say see you later”, but don’t actually know the next time you’ll be seeing it? Then weeks, months or maybe even years later you go back to that place and it’s as if nothing ever changed; didn’t skip a beat and just continued as if you had never left at all. Is there a word for this? Whatever it is, I simply love it. I love that you’re both so comfortable and know each other so well. I love having that connection, it makes leaving just a bit easier because you know when reunited what you’re coming back to. It’s almost a sense of safety and security.

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Cayucos: Summer of ’96

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Cayucos: Fall of ’15 [we traded in ice cream for ales]

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In this vast world it’s hard to find a place to make you feel comforted and special like this. I’ve traveled to many places and find this experience to be very rare. Two sweet beach towns that lie on the edge of the central coast of California have this very rare quality. Cayucos and Carmel have little pieces of my heart. Each time we meet its as if nothing has ever changed. These places played roles in making me who I am. They watched me grow.

But places aren’t the same as people, because when you leave a person you will not encounter the same one upon reuniting. They’re always slightly different. They’ve changed; even if it’s a minute shift. When we leave people, we take with us visions of how they were; memories that help when that persons gone and far away.

People evolve. They are ever moving. No person will be the same way they were when you left them. They meet new people that open their eyes in ways they never thought possible. New experiences change them and the way they see the world can slowly shift as well. So as I begin to embark on a new phase in my life I can’t promise that when I come back I will be exactly the same person. No, that would be ridiculous to assume. But I can promise to take all that I experience and learn, and make it a beautiful chapter in my growing story. I can only hope that when I return I will be an even better version of myself.

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❝So, what if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life, you just think about adding additional good things. One at a time. Just let your pile of good things grow. ❞Attachments, Rainbow Rowell

 

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To those I love, just know I’ll be back. Like an old Australian Proverb says: “We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love… and then we return home.” Remember this isn’t goodbye; its see you later.

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-xo ash

ps: To those who have helped shape me like the places and people in these pictures, thank you…in my life I love you all. (Anna, my kindred spirit, thank you for giving these places that much more meaning. Promise to let Tommy dance with YOU next time 😉 )Anna and Me


Carmel Favorites:

  • While in Carmel-by-the-Sea save your appetite and check out my favorite little Italian restaurant, Little Napoli. It is seriously the best! I always order the same thing and it never gets old. Be sure to order the crab bisque, steamed manilla clams and of course Chef Pepe’s famous garlic flatbread. Made from a 100 year old family recipe it will transport your taste buds to Italian citys like Rome, Naples, Sorrento or Capri! If there’s still room, have a cappuccino and share the Tiramisu..you wont be sorry.

    Cayucos Favorites

  • Run off all the food you ate at Little Napoli and take a jog on my favorite stretch of beach, Sand Dollars. Perfectly named, this public beach is littered with little white sand dollars early in the morning and has the best view of both Morro Bay and downtown Cayucos. I love getting up early and jogging on the sand, or finishing the day watching the sunset and strolling.

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Spring Cleaning: Toss out the Toxins

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Spring is in the air, which means its time for change and new beginnings! My friend Elsy and I decided to challenge ourselves and do a month long detox to get our body, minds and souls in a healthier, cleaner space. By definition a detox is a “removal of toxic substances from a living organism.” We did what most people our age would consider insane and have cringed at. We chose to detoxify our bodies of alcohol; ready to kick start spring feeling refreshed and invigorated.

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[We love a good challenge and decided to take things to another level. Elsy has a thing for sweets so she eliminated different forms of sweets/candy; while I chose to eliminate different forms of starch, which can be my weakness at times. I’ll let you in on a little secret… its been a week and the struggle is most definitely real but is getting easier with the more time that goes by.]

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 presetDetox plans are different for everyone. Some might need to detoxify their body of alcohol, caffeine, sugar or processed and refined foods; the list goes on and on. The detox plan you choose should depend on your eating habits, exercise plan and lifestyle and should also be well thought out. Detoxing isn’t as easy as it sounds and should be researched and carefully planned out. Remember there might be risks and some plans can be nutritionally insufficient, which can cause more harm to your body than good. Poor nutrition while detoxing can lead to muscle loss, fatigue, irritability and unhealthy weight loss. Taking it slow, one day at a time is key. Remind yourself of why you have chosen to take this hiatus from your normal routine and the benefits you will receive from your specific detox.

When detoxing its also great to have someone walk with you through this process. Detoxing with a friend can help you stay accountable and allow you to stay on track when cravings and hunger pangs start to roll in. Plus, you can also encourage each other by working out together and pushing each other to finish strong. Feed your body with clean healthy foods and remember to drink lots of water being sure to flush any toxins being carried in your system. My favorite detoxifiers are lemons! Lemons have many health benefits and help clean out the liver, colon and intestines. The acid in lemons dissolves toxins and extra build up in the body making it a super fruit and the perfect partner on your detox journey. Exercise is key when detoxifying, so don’t forget to get your heart rate up. Make sure to get out in the sun and do an activity that you enjoy while moving your body. One of my favorites, Audrey Hepburn said it best “I believe laughing is the best calorie burner.” I’m lucky my detox partner is hilarious; I can’t even imagine the number of calories we’ve burned laughing at each other this week alone. Can’t wait to see what this detox has in store for us! “No one said it would be easy, but they did say it would be worth it.”

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Happy healthy detoxifying!

-ash xo

ps: detox and dance. Dancing is one of my favorite forms of exercise. Play this tune, put your dancing shoes on, pour yourself some lemon infused ice cold water and prepare to sweat out the toxins!